things we didn’t know last year

Whilst bored this evening, having for the first time in my short history refused to go to the pub on a Friday evening, I came across the BBC’s excellent list of 100 things we didn’t know last year, which is compiled from the ten things we didn’t know last week. I know everyone’s sick of lists documenting the past 365 days but this one recieved many “OOooOOooHHhh! I didn’t know that”s (Say it outloud in your grandmother’s or crazy aunt’s voice, it’ll make more sense). I thought I’d pick out a couple that piqued my interest.

19. The = sign was invented by 16th Century Welsh mathematician Robert Recorde, who was fed up with writing “is equal to” in his equations. He chose the two lines because “noe 2 thynges can be moare equalle”.

Very interesting stuff indeed, but would you look at that! A Welsh Mathematician?! I honestly thought we were still running around with wild ginger hair hitting things with maces in the 16th century, but then I’m a moron who’s never opened a book in my life. Nice one, my taffy brethren.

29. When faced with danger, the octopus can wrap six of its legs around its head to disguise itself as a fallen coconut shell and escape by walking backwards on the other two legs, scientists discovered.

Surely that’s bullshit, I’m not the brightest spark in the fireworks box, but I wouldn’t mistake an octopus for a coconut, because they’re like, massive, aren’t they? So what could possibly harm one? A shark? A whale? I think these scientists are seriously underestimating the intelligence of sharks and whales here. Though there is the possibility that I have no idea how big an octopus is and am going on information recieved from crap horror movies.

57. The man who was the voice of one of the original Daleks, Roy Skelton, also did the voices for George and Zippy in Rainbow.

I had a geeky orgasm when I read that. A geeky orgasm differs from a normal orgasm in many ways, for instance, after a normal orgasm you’re likely to fulfilled and want to sleep whereas with a geek orgasm you’ll bounce around like a tit, claim to be inspired and then rush off to do nothing in particular. Another example, normals orgasms tend to occur when the penis is outside of your trousers, geek orgasms however, don’t. Onwards!

78. One in 18 people has a third nipple.

It means that I’m sensual, not that I fell out of craravan window at the tender age of 7. And that I have a big cock. And that I can smoke your arse when challenged to pistols at dawn. I’m a very well rounded bad ass.

94. Bill Gates does not have an iPod.

His broke too.

On a bit of a side street to the rest of this post, I found out they’re still producing Master Systems in Brazil, they’re called the Master System 3 and they come bundled with 74 games loaded into the console. Cash reward goes to anyone who helps me track one down, go forth my nerd-prize hunting hordes!